Lady Gaga as well as Beyoncé’s anxiously awaited video for their The Fame Monster partnership “Telephone” has arrived as a nine-minute-and-thirty-second mash-up of lesbian jail porn, campy sexploitation flicks as well as insidery winks during a dual divas’ public personas. If Quentin Tarantino as well as Russ Meyer transformed Thelma & Louise as an orgy of product chain with fiercely choreographed interludes, this would be a result. The video was scheduled to premiere on E! during 11:30 p.m. tonight, though strike a Internet early around a leak.

The mini-movie opens in a women’s prison, where guards strip Gaga bare as well as mutter, “I told we she didn’t have a dick,” fanning a flames of one of a most determined rumors about Stefani Germanotta’s gender identity. Almost immediately a self-referential nudges as well as brand names appear: a boom box in a exercise yard blasts Lady Gaga’s “Paper Gangsta,” a associate invalid wears Monster earbuds, Gaga has a Virgin Mobile phone tucked in her pants as well as sports Chanel shades as well as Diet Coke cans in her hair as makeshift curlers (nice touch!).

The strain kicks in only before a three-minute mark as Gaga (in a spiked swim suit as well as what appears to be Karen O’s jacket from a “Zero” video) takes a call in jail as well as launches in to a most delectable afternoon imaginable behind bars — a firmly choreographed slight which has Gaga as well as four tattooed backup dancers stamping by a dungeon block.

When Beyoncé’s scheduled interlude arrives, a strain breaks for an additional dramatic sequence. A ensure perusing dating Website Plenty of Fish on a Beats by Dre laptop informs Gaga she’s been bailed out. Beyoncé (nicknamed Honey Bee) rolls up in a Pussy Wagon from Tarantino’s Kill Bill: Volume One, informs Gaga, “You’ve been a really bad girl” as well as feeds her a sticky treat. Simply being in Tarantino’s car inspires some Pulp Fiction-esque chaff (”You know Gaga, trust is similar to a mirror. You can repair it if it’s broke…” “But we can still see a crack in which motherfucker’s reflection”).

Beyoncé launches in to a song’s overpass as Lady Gaga snaps photos of her with a Polaroid camera, afterwards a pair pull up to a selected diner where Beyoncé entertains a lady companion (played by Tyrese Gibson) as well as Gaga mans a kitchen, slipping poison in to a food along with Miracle Whip as well as Wonder Bread (cue an additional overwhelming dance sequence, this time with cooks prancing around a stove in a impulse which could have been borrowed from Madonna’s “Hung Up” clip). Beyoncé takes a impulse to fondle with her squeaky-clean image — busting out a line, “I knew you’d take all my honey, we greedy motherfucker” as Gibson keels over during a table — as well as an additional dance method begins, this time with Gaga as well as B in patriotic garb.

Queer Eye for a Straight Guy’s Jai Rodriguez arrives as a headlines contributor broadcasting word of a mass carnage (dubbed “The Telephone Effect”) as Gaga as well as Beyoncé speed away in a Pussy Wagon dressed in white as well as black veils. “We did it, Honey Bee, now let’s go far, distant away from here,” Gaga says as a dual grip hands as well as strike a accelerator.